| I have a new blog: lenoreharp.tumblr.com Forewarning though, it's pretty intense. Don't worry too much, those blogs are the darkest thoughts that I need to get out so I don't act upon them. |
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| Father, my solid stone Comfort me When I'm feeling alone Heal my mine When my disorders twist my thoughts in a bind Seal my heart When it's ripping apart Hold me close as I trepidate and collapse with pain From the battle within my brain Bring peace, oh God Stike Satan's doings with Your mighty rod By You, Victory will rise Over Satan's evil demise With You, I can win Over this life of sin |
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| I can feel myself slowing slipping away again and there is nothing I can do I don't have a good enough motivation to stop it Holding your hand, looking in your eyes, silently telling you that I'm already sorry for what I'm going to do. I'm shaking inside Going crazy from this confusion Not caring which voice is my own anymore. God cast this demon away! Hold me Lord! Give me peace! Rid this excruciating pain! I want to quit. |
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| I'm so stupid for a lot of different reasons. Last night I woke up at 4 and couldn't go back to sleep until 6 I thought up a really long explanation of why I was such a jerk. GAah, I hate myself so much. I miss not feeling anything. I don't want to feel anymore. I want to be numb again If I wasn't going to Tech in the fall, I would completely relapse right now. I hate being depressed. I feel so weak, and I hate being negative. I should count my blessings and be grateful for the things I have, but the depression is too strong. again i'm stupid. |
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| Blogblogblog I've forgotten about xanga I really need to vent so sry: I've been feeling extremely weak and out of control lately. I need some motivation. I think I'm just feeling like I'm a failed anorexia overcomer because I'm not struggling to eat or anything. I still have to count calories, but it's not hard to enjoy eating. My stupid ed is telling me that I am a weak person for eating. I just need to remind myself that eating keeps me strong and is the only way to go to college and everything else I want to do. I probably just need to pray. |
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